A day in the life of the time-sensitive

I'm writing this during a long weekend.

While writing shouldn't be considered "work", I sometimes feel that I always need to be working towards something. Yet even during a 4 day weekend, I cannot sit still and relax. It's such a problem that I require professional help to assist me with relaxing, slowing down and listening to my body.

Is that you too? Do you not know how to relax? 

I currently pay a professional a few hundred $$ an hour, to give me advice on how to calm down. Gosh it sounds ridiculous doesn't it? During this long weekend I have scheduled 3 of the 4 days for working - that includes my personal projects, my day job and my charity work. 

Today was meant to be my day of rest. But it turned into a day at the computer. I have barely seen my husband all day and I've been sitting at this desk for hours. Is that any way to spend a long weekend? Some call it ambitious, driven and hard working. I still don't know what to call it. All I know is that I woke up with a headache, still have one, and have no desire to rest up - I must continue and finish what I set out to do today.

Tomorrow I will wake early, cook and prepare food for the homeless - Feed them lunch and then head into the office to catch up on my workload. There is no rest - but at the same time, I don't want to rest.

I don't have any miraculous tips on how to allow yourself to rest.

I don't know how to do that. For me weekends are sometimes horrific. I try to schedule what my husband and I are doing from Wednesday onwards - I don't appreciate being spontaneous, I even schedule my rest periods. It's like I need to mentally prepare myself for being out of the routine of working my 9 to 5.

So you can imagine how hard a LONG weekend is!

What I do know is that while it looks like I'm always busy, and always working - what you don't see is the fire that burns so bright. The unwavering passion to reach my goals at any cost including never going anywhere, becoming a recluse and constantly dreaming up new goals to reach for.

What you don't see is that I love hard work, I'm a fiend for it. So while I may always be "doing something" and need to see a psychologist to help me take it easy... I am loving every second and using the time I have the only way I know how.

Do you.

xLR