I typed the words "why am I" into a search engine to see what type of predictions it would display (cos I'm a nerd like that and enjoy data!).
Not so much surprised by the first option but the 3rd and 4th has struck a cord which I wanted to talk about and explore.
WHY AM I SO ANGRY
When I ask myself this question, many answers pop up... but more questions, if anything. At the core of anger is a source - what is making us angry. Is anger a mask for another emotion, sadness perhaps? There is some confusion as to whether anger is a primary or a secondary emotion. For example if your partner cancels plans, your first emotion may be sadness, which then turns into anger as a reflection of that sadness.
Having said that, there is nothing wrong or incorrect with feeling anger - but it's important to be aware of where it is coming from. Buddha has described the source of anger as generated through desires and attachments or expectations of how things should be.
So what does that mean? That if we have no expectations and weren't attached to anything we wouldn't feel anger? Not realistic is it.
WHY AM I SO UGLY
This phrase really hurts me. Not in the sense that I feel that way, but I'm saddened that so many people feel the need to ask.
What is the definition of ugly anyway? I know some beautiful people with hearts of tar - I would consider that ugly. I wonder if the people asking this question are referring to their physical appearance - and of interest I wonder what the search results come up with!
In my workshops I speak about how complicated our lives have become. In my opinion superficial lust is a growing narcissistic trait that is spiralling out of control - especially in our kids. But how do we shelter them from that? The fact is that we can't.
But what we can do is raise powerful individuals. I've learned so much from my parents who had me at a young age. I learned that everyone has a path and we really need to allow them to find that path on their own, and the only way to foster that environment is love - unconditional and forever flowing love.