RUOK? #imnotok
/#RUOK day is a great step forward towards normalising the conversation about mental health and suicide prevention. As a community it’s so important to talk openly about mental health and struggles that we have. At some point in everyone’s life, there will be many times when you feel that you are not ok.
Over the last 6 months I’ve been on a personal journey of self re-discovery. I have completely gutted my life and in some ways started from scratch. As I write this, I’m still on my journey - it’s been horribly confronting and challenging to say the least. But even still, I know the rewards will be worth it.
As I reflect on RUOK’s meaning, I find myself thinking that while it’s good to be able to start a conversation, it’s also important to focus on the fact that many of us struggle to ask for help too.
During part of my re-discovery journey I unpacked my childhood to understand my sub-conscious thinking and behaviours. One thing that stood out is that I struggle to ask for help. This was mainly due to trauma at a young age, which led to me growing up without wanting to rely on anyone. As a young adult I was always so proud of how independent I was.
I remember when I was in high school, my dad and I would always talk about what I wanted to do with my life when I had finished. I remember thinking I wanted to be a lawyer (because I always won arguments) or a singer (I can’t sing by the way!), but I never had an idea or path that I was clear on. I do remember both parents saying “You can be anything you want to be” - and with that I’ve always been driven to be the best at whatever I set my mind to. Even self-reliance.
The past few months have been really exhausting, but the hardest part for me was to admit that I needed help. I’ve always been so good at being the person others come to for help, but was never willing to have the roles reversed. This is what I want to focus on this year - opening up the conversation around asking for help. I think it’s fantastic that there are so many people willing to listen, but it’s hard to listen when people don’t want to be heard.
Admitting that you need help is hard (but possible)
Asking for help and allowing myself to be vulnerable has had an immeasurable impact on my life. It’s opened doors, changed my mental health and even given me the ability to un-learn life long bad behaviours. I am not OK right now, but I have asked for the help that I need.
Today I’m using #imnotok - because it’s ok to ask for help. I know this starts with me so I am actively reaching out and asking for help when I need it. I can only lead by example. If you need help or want to reach out to discuss this more, please send me a note through my contact form.
There is no shame in asking for help. You are not a burden.